Farewell 2016. You’ve had your moments, I’ve had my moments; we’ve all had our moments. There are many moments I’d love to keep and re-live, do what I can to recreate them, but that won’t happen. There are bucket loads of moments I wish I’d never had, that I don’t want to re-live, certainly don’t want to recreate and keep hoping that I’ll forget. But that’s not gonna happen either.
I’m not one to make a big deal out of New Year’s celebrations, it’s really just another night. We encounter new things every day, why we all need to wait until the New Year to change things, I don’t know. We get new days, new months, new seasons, new minutes and new seconds all year round. Why wait for the one new year, each year? I did make one comment last year, that I wanted to kiss a real live boy next new year. Unless some single cuties pop up tonight, that’s not gonna happen. And why should I wait for New Year for a kiss?
I was filled with hope and excitement for 2016; I was excited to see where things would go with Gary, what excitement I could get at work, what fun things I’d get up to in summer. For 2017, I know where things went with Gary – I know they won’t go again – I’ve just resigned from my new job and I’m not planning on being here for the full summer. I’m not filled with hope and excitement.
I’m glad for 2016 to be over, as are many others. ‘We’ lost so many celebrities and some truly crazy things happened around the world. But for me, I lost myself and my baby. While I did find myself initially and someone who I had thought to be the love of my life, 2016 will, for the most part, be remembered as the year I lost.
Things are getting easier – songs aren’t making my gut wrench or heart tighten as much anymore. I can talk about Gary without feeling complete bitterness or heartache. I can say the word miscarriage without tears forming or my voice dropping to a whisper. But there’s still a long way to go.
2016, you truly were a one of a kind year. I’m glad to see the back of you, but so desperately wish for you to come back on track and fix yourself up. Why did you have to fill yourself with so much tragedy? I’m not sure what we did – what I did – to deserve you, but 2017 better bloody well make up for it.
Here’s hoping to a Happy New Year.